[Beatrix Drexler (Sandara)]

NAME: Beatrix Drexler
NICKNAMES (IF ANY): Trix, Drexler
DATE OF BIRTH AND AGE (AS OF YEAR 845): 23 August 826 (19)
PLACE OF BIRTH: Stohess District, Wall Sina
GENDER: female
MEMBER GROUP: useless slacker Garrison
FACE CLAIM: Akira Mado from Tokyo Ghoul

"So..." they started; smirking, gulping down their beers, slapping their boots together under the old dinning table. She hated them all, with their winning smiles, friendly banters, with those bloody shining unicorns on their clothes. "... you couldn't make it at the end." Someone sighed, exaggerated, the sign of a non verbal "I told you so" or more like a "what did you expect". Weird how that little puff of breath reminded her of Him. Quirin. She wanted to gag as if vomiting would empty out her soul, her memories, her heart and brain. Maybe. Maybe then she wouldn't have been seeing Konrad's shy, hopeful smile every time when she closed her eyes. But she didn't have time to lament on this, as the man - her once-upon-a-time almost comrade - continued. "Even your MP brother couldn't pull enough strings to get your pretty ass far from the walls? What a flippin' disappointment you must be, Drexler."

Disappointment. She was 3 when she first heard this word. Her mother just kept screaming like a crow, circling above its pray. "Mama, please stop, big sis isn't like that..." she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She was only a child, powerless in front of her mother who was spitting words without meaning, telling her that she should be Father's favourite, she should be the one who brings back the faded glory of their last name as she is so pretty, so, so pretty, like a little bird, she would marry well, yes she would. Beatrix did not understand half of it, she was standing still in a storm of words and only heard the last few whispered syllables: "It even killed its own mother."

She only learnt how ridiculous that sentence was when her little brother got born. Who was clearly not a disappointment. But then the years passed and when he turned 5 that happened. "He is the first born son of the family." mother said and the room turned ice cold. Father started shouting about Quirin and their future, the Military Police, how mother should keep her mouth shut and mind what she says. Beatrix didn't listen as she already knew Father's monologue by heart, they always fought about the same thing. Quirin. Even when he was not there, he was causing distress, his very existence poisoning this sweet moment, the birthday of her baby brother. She shook her head slightly, trying to get rid of Father's voice, its volume rising with every word, every time he mentioned Quirin, their hope and savior. "How lucky you are." she thought, looking at Konrad's plump face "You still can't understand a thing, can you? I wish... you never have to understand." So she closed her eyes and prayed to the gods, to the Walls, to the titans, even to herself. She would keep him safe. Safe from their parents. Safe from the titans. And safe from Him.

However, a prayer is just that. A prayer. It cannot change Fate, even if you fight with tooth and claw. Even if you learn how to fly, swords in both hands, ready to cut deep into the dummy titans' necks, showing everyone you are better. She was the one. As her mother said. As Father - always capitalized, it was a title, not a form of endearment - never imagined. As Quirin never expected. She would catch up. She would show all of them how to...

"BUT HE IS MY BEST FRIEND TRIXIE, WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?"

... fall. "Nononononononono." When did this happen? How? She fell, she run out of gas, her swords broke. She was not trying anymore. Why would she? Even her baby brother abandoned her for someone unknown. For someone twisted. For Quirin. He took her mother; her heart was full of hatred, there was no space for tenderness there. He took Father; his eyes only followed the steps of his firstborn. And now, now, He took Konrad. Sweet, full of smiles Konrad. Her bubble of happiness. Her faith in the existence of something ultimately good. Thus she fell... hard.

Still even now without a future, without hopes and dreams, without the unicorn on her shirt, she was not a disappointment. Her eyes flared up like hellfire and she threw her whole body into the punch. Someone screamed, little drops of blood splattered on the floor, her heartbeat echoing in the room like a war drum. Yes, she was scum. Yes, she was a nobody. She wasn't worth more than dirt on their shoes. She was titan food. Cannon fodder. She only knew how to fall, but falling is just another way of flying. She would show them all: Beatrix Drexler was no disappointment.

Thus she didn't pray to the gods, to the Walls, to the titans or even to herself. No, this time she made a promise.

YOUR ALIAS: Sandara
AGE: old? I would love to say 29, but I am not anymore.
TIMEZONE: JST (UTC +9)

« Last Edit: November 22, 2018, 07:44:45 AM by Beatrix Drexler »

[Sandara]

I believe it's done? Not perfect, but my determined little spitfire is here to spit fire... ... ... ... ... lol, sorry, I know it wasn't funny.

Please let me know if I need to change anything I was on a rp hiatus for almost 6 years now, so my writing is a bit rusty.

(Also, I referred to Quirin as "she" when he was a child, same as it was in his application. However, if you feel it is not appropriate or even hurtful - which was not my intention - I change it immediately.)

[Webs]