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Author Topic: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]  (Read 776 times)

Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« on: October 22, 2019, 01:23:29 AM »
[ summer 845 ]

It was one of the few times Eren wasn't in a lesson with Armin or Mikasa - from what he'd gathered, due to the size of the entire 104th Cadet Corps being squeezed together in one area instead of split into four divisions, they had multiple instructors per training class, and had to be split up still. Odd, but he supposed he understood. Not that he was happy about being on his own.

Especially not when Jean was in the same cabin as him. They were even on the same row! Horse-face got on his nerves to no end. But it looked like he had no chance at escaping him.

As the instructor spoke about general Titan anatomy, Eren settled into writing notes - he'd rather have Armin beside him. The amount of description that went into Titan Lore and Anatomy... The sight of the Colossal Titan flashed in his mind when he blinked. A headache threatened to pierce his temple as he listened to the instructor explain how basic anatomy with the titans were generally similar, with four limbs and the caricature-like faces.

That smiling Titan...  Mouth wide, teeth shining... Blood... So much blood... Mum...

A sound snapped him out of his reverie. Eren jerked to attention, eyes wide and body rigid, only to relax as he realised the noise had been the window slamming shut from the wind.

"Can anybody tell me what else all titans have?" the instructor asked, looking around the classroom.

His hand shot up, eyes narrowing as he recovered from the memory. "The nape. Every titan can be killed by slicing it." They had learned that the previous week. Their one way of defeating the titans. Just one weakness.

"Correct. Now, due to the differences in titan bodies, sometimes the nape can be obscured by a short, almost non-existent neck..." continued the instructor. Eren zoned out her words, staring at the desk before him.

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2019, 04:28:14 AM »
Jean wasn't happy to be in yet another lecture, but it was what had to be done. He let out a sigh as he stared past the black chalk board. Titan Lore and Anatomy... If everything went according to Jean's plan, he would have no need for this class in the long wrong. This was just yet another waste of time that would end with tests. Tests he only took so he could keep his scores up and get into the Military Police.

That's all he wanted from this class- just better grades to keep his score up and nothing more. He couldn't wait to have that stupid green unicorn on his back rather than the twin swords. He day dreamed about moving to the inner cities, taking care of his mom and just making a better life for them. The last thing he wanted to do was follow after his father. His poor mother...

His thoughts about his family were rudely interrupted by Jaeger himself. He couldn't help rolling his eyes a little at the other kid. That was one kid who was going to get himself killed right after graduation. He was obsessed with the Survey Corps. and defeating all of the titans. Jean couldn't understand Eren in the slightest, not after being on the receiving end of the trip home they had to do for the next of kin.

"Yet he's going to kill them all," he huffed, not exactly trying to stay under his breath with the comment. He really couldn't help himself. Some days it was just second nature to make fun of the other cadet.

There was a part of him that resented Eren for his skill. How dare he be good enough to take up a position in the top ten, take up a place for those who want to join the MP, all the while talking down those among him? He was going to act like a hero for fighting the titans -a losing battle- but then take a spot away from someone else who "was too cowardly" to make it in the Survey Corps.

Jean had seen first hand what the Survey Corps could do to a family, like hell he would take the hero's way out. « Last Edit: October 22, 2019, 04:41:48 AM by Jean Kirschtein »

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2019, 12:33:46 AM »
It was hardly like nobody could hear Jean's comment. Eren's sharp gaze snapped to looked at the boy, an instant anger rising in his blood and heating him up. Jean thought he was so good - just because he was older, because he was going for the Military Police. Sure, he did well in lessons, but that wasn't everything! What were their marks going to be worth once they graduated? A place with the Military Police wasn't worth the dirt they stood on!

"Hey," he snapped, every part a picture of a rattled, annoyed boy. "If you've got something to say to me, say it to my face!" Even if he were only a few seats away. "Or are you too much of a coward to do even that? How are you ever going to face a titan if you can't even face your classmates outright, huh?"

If the older boy got into the Military Police, he'd probably never see those monsters. But that didn't mean it was impossible. Especially if they attacked the walls again - and Eren was sure it couldn't be long until they did. Why would they do such an abnormal thing only to never do it again? He had tried asking the instructor that, but she'd only told him to ask the other instructor, who in turn had reminded him titans didn't have intelligence like humans, so they couldn't know what they were thinking. Whether they could make plans.

He was sure they could. It was too convenient.

The instructor had told him to quieten down, but he didn't even hear that, still fixed on glaring at Jean.

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2019, 04:15:08 PM »
Jean couldn't help the annoyed roll of his eyes as Eren started speaking, turning his head to look over at the angry boy. He was just another suicidal bastard- an idiot obsessed with being the hero. Jean knew Eren didn't have what Jean had- he no one waiting on the other side. He still had Mikasa and Armin though. He had friends who cared about him, but Eren was so up his own ass that he didn't even see how his one and only goal was going to get him and his friends killed.

"Oh, I'll say it to your face," Jean scoffed, turning his body to face Eren properly now. There was a twinge of regret when he caught the tired expression of the professor out of his eye. He didn't have time to feel bad for his instructor though- this was a matter of pride. "I'll also say that you're a suicidal bastard for wanting to fight every goddamn titan out there."

Maybe it was the fact that Jean never got the chance to say goodbye, but something about the way Eren was so willing to just give everything up for this stupid war grated on Jean. He couldn't understand why someone was so willing to just throw it all away. Why he was so willing to just become another body or body part they carted back into the walls after every damn battle. Jean never got the privilege of having anything left from his father. Just a bloody patch and an apology. That's all he'd ever get. The thought that Eren was so willing to put his friends in the same position pissed Jean off to no extent. « Last Edit: October 23, 2019, 04:15:27 PM by Jean Kirschtein »

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2019, 07:28:10 PM »
Eren's hands clenched tight as Jean spoke. He jumped to his feet, body rigid with anger, and pointed at the boy. "Somebody has to! You want to just be stuck inside the Walls forever? Watch everybody die and do nothing about it?" He was bordering on yelling, and at least loud enough that he drowned out their instructor's plea to quieten down.

How could anybody see the Military Police as something to look up to? Who would think that was anything honourable? It wasn't! They couldn't just sit around like sheep, waiting for the next lot of Titans to stagger in and start scooping up humanity into their mouths again. He wouldn't let that happen - the sooner his fellow cadets realised he was right, the better.

"If you think there's any honour in that then you're wrong," he snapped. "Just because you're scared to do anything but sit on your ass like your precious Military Police doesn't mean everybody else is the same - or even wants to!" He wavered, almost considering sitting down, before deciding it would be better to stay standing. Admittedly, it didn't make him appear all that much taller.

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2019, 04:35:12 AM »
Jean leaned back at first, eyes cold and narrowed as they watched Eren jump up. He forgot how easy it was to enrage the boy some days. He knew what Eren was trying to do, standing to make himself feel taller. He was trying to go for intimidation. Jean didn't think he could ever be intimidated by this kid. He glanced over to the instructor, guilt flashing over his face for a moment. Then Eren kept talking.

Jean didn't stop to think, he just rose out of his chair. It was satisfying, standing and making himself the bigger person physically. He glared down at Eren, not daring to cross his arms in case he needed to be quick and block a punch. Knowing how most of their arguments- it wouldn't take much longer for the first punch to be thrown.

"Oh get off your high horse," Jean scoffed, shaking his head. He knew there was no honor in what he was doing. There was no honor in using the system to his advantage, but he was certain that if Eren was in the same position he'd do the same, dammit. "No one else wants what you want, Jaeger! You're the only one here who thinks like this!"

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2019, 12:45:10 AM »
Everybody - almost - was taller than him, but Jean being taller pissed him off even more than most. "I'm not the only one and you know it," he snapped back. There were other cadets, those from Shiganshina, and his own friends. Perhaps they weren't as outspoken about it as he was, but he wasn't alone.

"Just because you're too lazy and don't take any of this seriously. The titans have to be stopped! Everybody should be ready to take up arms and fight. The Survey Corps need more soldiers than ever and they're our only chance at taking back Wall Maria and getting to the outside!" He could practically feel eyes rolling around him. That only made him even angrier. How could so many people reject the reality of their situation? He wished they'd seen it, that horrid face. Then they'd know.

Eren stabbed a finger in Jean's direction again. "You want to just sit here and wait for the titans to come and eat you? Fine! You do that! See where it gets you." He snorted. "You'll be the one who gets your head bitten off by a titan, while we're out there fighting for everybody's chance to live!" « Last Edit: October 25, 2019, 12:45:21 AM by Eren Jaeger »

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2019, 07:23:11 PM »
Jean shook his head, unable to really believe Eren. No one else spoke up quite like he did. No one bothered to speak out like Eren. Honestly, the reason Jean argued with Eren so much is because it was dumb bravery like his that got people killed.

"Do you even listen to yourself?" He scoffed, shaking his head. "You think that you're so great that you of all people will defeat the titans? Guess what Eren- everyone else who's thought like you has ended up dead."

Everything about what Eren did rubbed him the wrong way, if he were to be honest. His own father was victim to Eren's line of thinking. Why couldn't Eren see it any other way? Jean understood that he was one of the Shiganshina refuges and that Mikasa was all he had left for family. Jean just didn't understand why the "logical" choice for Eren was to go on a self proclaimed suicide mission. Jean clenched his fists as Eren stabbed at the air in front of him, eyes narrowing. "Fuck you, Jaeger. I want at least a half way decent life not running suicide missions. At least I'll be with people I fucking care about in the walls! Who will you be with?"

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2019, 04:45:42 PM »
Eren couldn't believe the audacity. It was ignorant and weak, cowardly and disrespectful. Of course they'd ended up dead! But the Survey Corps had to be changing all the time, finding out new ways of defeating the titans. If they just had more soldiers then they'd surely be more successful. They were humanity's last hope, the only ones who were doing anything that wasn't just resigning themselves to living within the Walls for the rest of time.

"I'll be with people who matter and actually want to make a difference," he snapped back. "People who aren't afraid to fight back against the titans instead of waiting like cattle for the slaughter! You go to Wall Sina and ignore everything else - pretend you're all safe. Because you're not! Nobody is!"

He was close to hitting him, and even moved towards him, though still out of reach. His arms were shaking with anger, let alone the rest of his body. "If fighting until death is what it takes - I'll do it. Every Scout who's ever died doesn't deserve to be thought of like that - it's pathetic! They sacrificed themselves trying to save cowards like you."

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2019, 01:54:48 PM »
Jean was quiet as he listened to Eren’s incessant ranting, waiting for him to mess up. Waiting for a mistake to be made. Waiting on a weak point he could use. Just like Jean always did in these arguments. He didn’t get that, though. Instead he got Eren shouting words at him that hit much too close to home for Jean’s liking.

They sacrificed themselves to save cowards like you.

Jean didn’t think, which wasn’t anything new in dealing with Eren Jaeger. His hands moved, finding the front of Eren’s shirt and gripping it so tightly his knuckles turned bone white. He shook the shorter cadet, anger bubbling up and overflowing like the first-time jean have ever tried to make cupcakes at the bakery. He overfilled the tin and there was batter all over oven. ”You know nothing about the fucking scouts, Jaeger!” He didn’t even process the yelling from the instructor or the goading on from his classmates.

His face turned up, nose scrunching and mouth curled downwards in disgust as he pushed Eren back, finally letting go of the other boy’s shirt. ”There are families waiting for some scouts out there. Just because you lost your family doesn’t mean everyone else should!”. As soon as the words left his mouth, Jean had known he’d gone too far. He knew he messed up. He didn’t need to hear the shocked gasps or the whispered ”did he really say that?”. He didn’t need to see Eren’s expression to understand he’d gone too far.

He swallowed thickly, bracing himself for impact. Bracing himself for the oncoming storm that was Eren’s rage. He wouldn’t bother blocking the first punch, knowing full well that he deserved it. Shit, he didn’t actually mean it… He clenched his fists at his side, wondering why he had to open up his big mouth every goddamn time. It was fun to poke at Eren but Jean knew where he was coming from. Jean might be able to understand the grief Eren felt, but at least he didn’t fucking watch his father get eaten.

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #10 on: November 06, 2019, 07:58:15 PM »
Being one of the smallest and youngest cadets had plenty of disadvantages - Jean, bigger and stronger than him, probably knew that as well as he did. As much as he tugged away from his hold, he couldn't quite manage it, though he didn't quit. The shaking only angered him more. He wasn't some kid! Who did horseface think he was, starting on him all the time? Trying to act tough in front of everybody when really he was just one of the cowards with the loudest mouth!

"I know more than you," he spat, aiming but failing to get a kick in at Jean. The desk made it harder, and all he managed was slamming his knee into the wood. It stung like hell but he was so blinded by rage that he could have sliced off his leg and not noticed.

Just because you lost your family doesn't mean everyone else should!

The words were far more painful. He took a shaky breath, drawing out the moment to take in every bit of rage he felt, maximised by the remark. Eren lashed out, his punch clumsy but hard and it kept coming. He was free now, though the space in the classroom caused him some trouble - firstly, because he wanted to climb up onto the desk to launch himself at Jean from height, when he struggled to even get a foot up on his stool in his rush of adrenaline. Second, because he couldn't throw Jean down (even if he tried) without something being in the way.

He chose to keep on punching as much as he could instead. "You're just a coward hiding behind all your bragging!" he cried. The hand-to-hand combat they'd learned so far wasn't enough to improve his fighting much at all. He wasn't going to give up. It didn't matter how big Jean was, how strong he was, how many times he blocked him, how much he could probably kick his ass. Eren refused to give up. Every successful block from Jean was met with another crazed pummel.

Even when someone - probably an instructor - tried dragging them apart, he kept going.

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #11 on: November 08, 2019, 03:42:30 AM »
Jean grimaced, stumbling back at the first punch. Even if he had time to react, he didn’t know if he would’ve. He knew what he had said. He knew the affect it was bound to have. Yet he still said it. He never even stopped to think before blurting it out at Eren. The punch that came felt like a sledgehammer right against Jean’s cheek. He stumbled back; head turned with the punch. His ears were ringing, and he wasn’t really processing the room around him. It felt almost like he was watching himself act without having much control over what happened. His hands came up to block the next punch without Jean even realizing.

You’re just a coward hiding behind all your bragging!

He wasn’t wrong. As much as Jean bitched and complained about how wrong Eren was, he wasn’t wrong about Jean. Jean knew he was a coward, prided himself on it most days. He was just like the rest of the population, cowards hiding behind walls all the while knowing they weren’t going to last. All Jean ever did was hide. He hid behind his mom from the neighborhood kids, he hid in his room when his father died, he hid behind a faux personality with the cadets, and he was going to go hide with the Military Police in the inner walls. Eren was right.

However, Jean had a reputation to maintain. He’d been standing there numbly for too long. He needed to react. To do something to let everyone watching that Eren’s words didn’t carry that much weight, as true as they might be. What could he even say, though? He clenched his jaw, fists curling at his side as he leveled Eren with a glare. He wasn’t thinking when he opened his mouth for another retort. Thankfully, by then their fellow cadets pulled them away. Jean felt himself being led to the door. He stayed quiet but kept his expression stern. No one needed to know how right Eren was.

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #12 on: December 01, 2019, 09:45:10 PM »
That Jean wasn't fighting back, only blocking him, made him angrier. He didn't consider how right he was, only that he wanted to fight and get Jean back but everything was stupid and impossible and Walls, he wanted to hurt him for real! How could he say that? No, he knew how. Because people didn't give a damn about those around them, and he didn't know what it was like to lose someone. Let alone watch them die right in front of his eyes!

He screamed and thrashed as the instructor hauled him away, another pair of hands on his bicep to pin his arm back. They were taken as far apart as possible, and only then did he calm down. Breathing hard, his chest heaving, he glared across at the boy who made him so mad. Every time. Was he falling for it? Some of the others would say so, that he was too easy to wind up. But that didn't give the right for Jean to say shit, let alone say that.

Eren was aware he wasn't the best fighter, as much as he tried to train up and do well. That didn't mean he was going to give up. He'd never give up.

The instructor's words didn't reach his ears, though he looked into their face and nodded along, just to make it stop. It wasn't the first time he'd been in trouble for fighting and it wouldn't be the last - take it out on the field, keep it out of the classroom, stop reacting to everything, go see Shadis - and it didn't really matter what they said. There were tears in his eyes he wasn't even aware of, not until he subconsciously wiped at his eyes and felt the wetness smear across the back of his wrist.

Re: Titanic pain in the ass. [Jean]
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2019, 02:57:09 AM »
Jean never fully intended to make enemies with Eren, though he supposed intention didn't matter anymore. He knew he had gone too far, bringing up family like that. There was a part of him that still felt angry about it all. Eren had no room to speak- Eren had no clue what Jean had gone through. He ducked his head after a bit, letting a couple of the others guide him to the door. It was a whole scene, in the middle of a classroom to boot. He hugged a little, wondering how things could spiral to such an extent.

He was in the doorway when Eren started screaming of all things. He heard a tight voice saying, "Take a walk, Kirschtein.", so he did. He stomped out of the classroom, letting the door swing shut behind him. He'd let Eren believe what he'd want, he knew better than to even attempt to talk to the boy one on one. There was no talking Eren- no telling him to think things through. That's not how Eren worked. Eren didn't do apologies. He did anger- impulsive idiocy aided by rage.

There was another part of him that was just so exhausted by it all. They were just kids dammit. Couldn't Eren relax? He hated how Eren constantly went around, talking about titans, killing this or killing that. Taking back Shinganshina. Jean wondered if at any point Eren ever thought that these goals wouldn't bring his mom back. There were days where Jean would do anything just to see his father once more. Where throwing himself in front of a titan seemed like a good idea if it meant making things go back to the way they were. He knew better than that, though. Nothing was going back to the way they were.


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