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Author Topic: Future hopes. [Mikasa]  (Read 259 times)

Future hopes. [Mikasa]
« on: December 15, 2019, 08:01:00 PM »
[ march 845 ]

Eren hadn't expected it to be easy, living on the streets of Trost District, homeless and, for the most part, alone. There were the three of them, of course - survivors - and then Armin's grandfather too. But all of it paled in comparison to what they'd seen. What had happened. Each night, the nightmares span tendrils of pain throughout his mind, snatching at his emotions and driving him into unrest. Sometimes he tried to stay up, in an effort to avoid going to sleep until tired enough that he wouldn't dream. It didn't seem to make a difference.

"Mikasa," he sighed one night, sat on a curb, fist under chin. The sun had set, leaving streetlamps to bloom light around them. There were no beds spare for them tonight, leaving them to make do with what they could - jackets, ragged blankets, not much else. It was a far cry from the comfort of home. His bed, the fresh sheets, his mother saying goodnight. She always did, she made sure to, and even when he protested that he wasn't a kid she'd still do it. Now he missed it. He missed her so much.

He looked over to Mikasa, the sister he hadn't expected, but was glad for all the same. "Do you think titans sleep?" The question had played on his mind, curious but without anyone to ask - most of the soldiers were abrasive at worst, ignored them at best. "You know... the stories about monsters under your bed. They didn't sleep." As he said it, he realised how childish it was, reddening quickly. Mum had always assured him about it, and he'd said he wasn't scared, but he remembered, when he was younger, unable to sleep, noticing every sound and each creak caused by wind. Titans weren't like that, but... they sort of were, weren't they?

"They'd be easy to cut down if they slept," he added more hastily. "They should do that. The Survey Corps could just go out and attack them when they can't do anything about it." Or the titans could do it to them. But they hadn't - if they didn't sleep, they could have attacked at night. What if they did one day? Would they even be prepared? "Maybe that's what we'll do. Once we're in the military." Then he thought again. "If you're enlisting too, anyway."

He'd avoided bringing that up too. Armin might want to join, and he didn't want that. Didn't want to risk pulling him in as well. One day, he'd have to talk to him about it. Not yet though.
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Re: Future hopes. [Mikasa]
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2019, 09:16:04 PM »
Mikasa thought that her childhood’s nightmares had gone forever. They had not… She thought that the titans can not be too traumatic. They can... Due to the fact that she hates to be seen weak, she tries really hard to look strong. She always says it herself: „I have seen worse, haven’t I? I will survive with those two, no matter what…”

She knew about Eren’s nightmares as well but she knows that he would be upset if she wanted to help him so she did not do anything yet. But Mikasa could not bear the pain of her friends. In addition to all of this, they had to live in the streets without any help. „The world is going down…” She had said it once in one of her worst moment and her friends had looked at her horrified. She had felt that she was a little bit hopeless so the boys had changed the subject.

Mikasa shook her head. „I have to be helpful!” Next to her was her friend and brother. The girl saw that Eren felt uncomfortable so Mikasa wanted to help. „Is he thinking about Carla?” was her question in her mind. She did not really know how to be helpful for him to process his lost although she had lost her loved ones. She felt terrible because she loved Carla as well. Mikasa could not forget her last words and her tearful face. She found herself wandering through her thoughts again. This is her way to protect herself from the dangerous thoughts. She raised her head and listened to Eren’s question. She frowned. „Is he okay?” She played with this idea.

„ I don’t know, Eren. They have to, haven’t they? They also need energy as a human, don’t they? Or maybe not… They are weird creatures. They are similar to us but they have differences too. So I don’t know. But I hope that if they don’t have to sleep, they won’t attack… They are not very clever…” She remembered the Colossal Titan. She trembled. „Most of them…”

When he mentioned the military, she breathed in sharply. She did not love this topic. Also, she knew that this is their last hope.
„Are you sure, you want to join?” she asked him. She looked into his eyes. She knew his answer so before he could answer, she continued. „What if they separate us? Or if one of us falls out? It’s too dangerous! We can’t prepare for this… It’s too much risk… How can we save each other? How can we help each other?! What about Armin? Do you want to left him behind? Or what?” She was upset again. She looked at him with lightning eyes.
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Re: Future hopes. [Mikasa]
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2020, 10:55:12 AM »
Most of them. Such a simple observation that caused him to tremble anew. The Colossal Titan was something else altogether. To be so tall, so violent, so calculated. How could it be? Why hadn't it been spotted before? Rumours spread like wildfire throughout the refugees. Snatches of gossip and anecdotes had reached his ears, but none could explain this titanic anomaly. Nor had the soldiers discussed it around him, much to his frustration. What were they doing? Hadn't they tried to stop it? They could hardly chase it with Wall Maria lost, but… what had the Garrison been doing? He had known Hannes and his friends were slacking, but had all of them?

"I guess so," he agreed, releasing a sigh that seemed to expel for far too long. "It better not come back until I'm a soldier. I want to be right there, I'll take it down myself." His fingers screwed up into a fist, teeth grit as he glared at the ground. The moment it returned, if it did, he wanted to be there. Had to be. For his mum, he'd crush the bastard!

Her question stunned him though. "You don't have to join up," he snapped, turning his teal gaze on her, eyebrows furrowed. "It's always going to be dangerous! Sooner or later, the titans will come back. I don't want to be stuck here waiting like a pig for slaughter, Mikasa! I've got to do something." Of course he didn't want to lose his friends. To be alone would be horrid, but a worthy sacrifice for doing what needed to be done. "If you stay here with Armin, you can protect him. I don't want him to enlist," he admitted. Armin was physically less capable of them - he was weak, to be mean - but he was smarter than anyone around now. He'd rather their friend stayed out of the military, but... "But if he does, that's his choice!"

Rising from the curb, he looked up at the sky, an inky veil behind sparkling stars. "I choose the cadet corps. I'm going to enlist. If you're coming with me, then… Armin will be okay. No matter what. We'll make sure of it somehow." That twinge of uncertainty in his voice held him back
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Re: Future hopes. [Mikasa]
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2020, 09:37:03 PM »
Mikasa was so upset! Eren could be selfish. How could he say those things?! Didn't we matter? He could leave us behind just to fulfill his goal? That's not our Eren. Or did we change that much?

At that moment, Mikasa saw Eren's trembling hand. She cautiously placed her cold hand above his. She wanted to calm him down.

"Eren... Don't make yourself angry! Or not now."

She glanced away from the boy. She knew that Eren had a point but it was to hard to admit it. Not because he was right but because it had a lot of blind spots anyway.

"I know that you're right. Somewhere... They will come back. We should be prepared, that's right. But does that mean that you could abandon us? We survived all this horror, we couldn't do anything without each other. Because we did those things for each other. Or at least, I thought..."

Mikasa looked at her friend with a hurt look. "I won't abandon you, Eren" The girl shook her head. "And nor Armin! I know that he is a little bit weaker than us but that doesn't  mean that he isn't capable of. He is a genius and we need those people who could lead us to victory. Even more since the loss of the Maria Wall..."

Mikasa sighed. She can't decide what would be the best option for them. Eren was right that they need to be prepared, that is important to survive and to win. But there is no guarantee that they will not be thrown into the hardest position to die. And she would rather die than lose her family. Again.

Eren stood up. Her eyes widened, but he couldn't see it because she didn't look up. Mikasa got herself together. She was wrathful. She stood up as well, and her stormy gray eyes meet his eyes.

"How could you say that? Armin needs us. You need us. I need you two! We can't leave him. And he lost his family too, maybe he wants revenge. Let's be together! We need each other!  I can't leave either of you behind because... I couldn't bear to lose my family again..." She whispered. The girl bowed her head. She did not want to confess this, however, it was true. She was a little embarassed. She hoped that Eren will understand.
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Re: Future hopes. [Mikasa]
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2020, 07:49:57 PM »
Mikasa was strong, he knew that, though he hated it as well. Everybody being scared of Mikasa coming when he was the one who charged in first, when he was the one looking after Armin and fighting onwards. It was jealousy, but he'd never admit that, especially not to Mikasa. And while the touch of her hand soothed some of his anger, it wasn't enough. It just reminded him that he had to do a lot better. To keep fighting. The Cadet Corps would teach him all he needed to know, and then he'd get their home back.

No matter what, they were going to get Shiganshina back.

Mikasa's claim that she wouldn't abandon him almost went unnoticed. He wished it could be so easily ignored, because he didn't know what to think. Hadn't they abandoned his mother? Not by choice, but... they should have stayed. Why couldn't they have waited a little longer, helped her get out? Why couldn't someone stronger than Hannes have turned up?

He was crying before he knew it, tears spiking at his eyes.

"I don't want to leave anybody!" he yelled. Far too loud, but it didn't matter. She had to know that, of all things, of course he didn't want to leave anybody behind. "But I can't force you to go with me and I don't want you to come if you don't really want to... if you're not committed to killing the titans, then it'd be better to not have you trained for them. Because... b-because you have to be safe too. I can't... can't..."

He sniffed back snot and wiped hastily at his eyes. "I can't lose anyone else." It came as a whisper, strained and pained as it was.

Fighting on and on he'd do. Killing titans he'd do. Saving Shiganshina he'd do.

But he couldn't bear to watch his friends die as well.
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Re: Future hopes. [Mikasa]
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2020, 04:18:32 PM »
She did not know what response Eren will give her. She knew that Eren had a longing to be strong, to really do something. To take revenge. And now only the military could help him.

Also, the girl did not imagine what Armin and her would do in the army. But she would do anything to stay with her friends. And in Mikasa’s opinion, Armind would do the same.
Because of this, Eren’s thougts were not comprehensible. He should know that his friends would do anything!

Mikasa looked up when Eren shouted. Mikasa’s eyes opened wide. Eren was crying because of her. She felt guilty. I didn’t mean to do such a thing… She immediately grabbed his hands.

„Eren! How could you think such a thing! If we didn’t want to come with you, we wouldn’t do. You should know us by now! Right? You can’t force us! So don’t worry. We come because we would like to… I'm sure Armin too. What would we do anyway?” Said the girl. She sighed and after that she squezzed his hands.

„I must admit that you were right. We have to preapre if we want to survive. And right now our best opportunity is the military. So let’s do this together, right?" She was determined now.

„Me neither…” She whispered when the boy said that he could not bear to lose anyone else.

„Do you remember when you saved me? From those killers? I thought… I thought I won’t have any other aspirition. Because it didn’t matter anymore. My parents were killed, I was kindapped… Nothing remained inside me. And after that… You came! You saved my worthless life while yours was in danger. And after that, you just… you were ready to give me a new home. And I realised that maybe… Maybe my life can be saved. You showed me that I can have another goal to achieve. Thanks to you I want to live again. So please, don’t turn away from me and Armin! All of us need each other. Furthermore, I’m ready to save your llife and Armin’s as well… Can you live without the knowledge where we are or what happened to us? Because I’m not. What about you?"


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