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Author Topic: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]  (Read 73 times)

Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« on: December 27, 2019, 12:46:04 AM »

“And.. we’re right… there!” Malcolm was up on his tiptoes, carefully adjusting a small bucket at the edge of a slightly open door at headquarters. Ah, the oldest trick in the book…!

Well, everyone needed a little pick me up, right? After the events of that past few years, losing so much human territory, a bunch of civilians and scouts dead, and the move to a new base… It was just a lot to take in. It was some building in Stohess, Malcolm cared little to remember the details, other than the fact that he just knew that good old Captain Cleanfreak was going to be up in arms (or cleaning supplies) about their new base.

Malcolm just figured he’d help out a little. And by helping out, he totally meant playing a big welcome prank. In the end, someone had to suffer for it and the lucky target? Malcolm was alright with taking risks, even if it meant he’d be the one at the receiving end of Captain’s Levi’s hellfire. Hey, short, dark, and brooding couldn’t kill him… right?

He’d filled the bucket with flour, just an extra sack he’d found lying around. And if he angled the bucket right, then the unfortunate victim would be covered in the stuff for days! Malcolm leaned back on his heels, dusting his hands of free flour with a bright smirk on his face. Oh, now this was probably his best worst idea yet.

Malcolm paused, then hearing step come down the hall. It could be only…! Well, he was coming in a little earlier than Malcolm planned for, and wait a second… those steps were a bit heavier than what the stout Captain produced? That wasn’t right. Who else would be at the offices right now anyway?! And suddenly, the silver-haired wonder put two and two together.

“Oh… fuck.” A few choice words under his breath couldn’t stop what was about to happen and the certain Commander of the Survey Corps who was about to walk through that door.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2019, 03:42:05 AM by Malcolm Watanabe »

Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2020, 04:11:52 AM »
The move was proceeding smoothly, despite all of the goings on in the last few weeks. Levi was taking the Special Operations Squad ahead of the rest of the unit that day, and Erwin hoped that it would straighten out a couple of others he brought along as well. His plans were also proceeding as well. Everything was coming together all at once. But he still needed proof for his theory about how the walls had been breached initially, and that would take time, and a lot of work on Hange’s part. But time was irrelevant. It had to be done.

But he still had to help sweep the headquarter in prep for the move, and wanted to catch Levi for one final issue regarding the move. Knowing his luck however, Levi would have already gone.

Erwin strode down the corridor with his usual purpose returning acknowledgments until he found the last room Levi cleaned, and noticed the door ajar. He pushed it open with his left arm, but did not have a chance to address the soldier he saw standing in the back of the room. He heard the sound of wood sliding past metal and was greeted with flour in his face and on his uniform. He blinked twice, to make sure he was looking in the right direction and said simply -
“My office; one hour.”

He left without another word, back down the corridor, and trail of white dust in his wake.

Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2020, 05:46:07 AM »
Of course, when one was as much of a risk-taker as Malcolm was, one always had to be prepared for whatever consequences that would eventually catch up to them. Malcolm always liked to think it was like a game, seeing far ahead he could stay for as long as possible. There was a certain thrill to it, and at times, no matter how stupid it really was, he told himself it was worth it.

Now, was simply one of those questionable times of whether he would stay faithful to his own beliefs.

He looked on, in relative silence, at the white-covered Commander. He couldn’t help himself. really he couldn’t. The smirk started before he realized it, but he tried to recover, he really did. His hand went flying to his mouth, smothering the snorting sounds of mixed wheezing and muted laughter. The consequences? The punishments? None of it suddenly mattered at all, none of it! Oh, he didn’t care, he didn’t care one bit because the image before him was absolutely, utterly, ridiculously, hilarious.  Oh god, only if someone else could have taken a look at this! The flour was still drifting through the air in dusty clouds, and the poor Commander was really caked in the stuff.

Malcolm was nearly bent over in hysterics when he did finally hear the awaited words of judgment.

“My office; one hour.”

And it was like a crack of electricity resounded through the room, Malcolm’s eyes widened. He gulped, feeling tension so thick it was like a dragging weight on his shoulders. He didn’t dare lift his head, knowing that those clear-blue eyes were drilling into him.

“Y-Yessir.” He sounded out the proper response, only flinching when the door slammed shut.

Right. His moment of pure unreasonable, unfiltered hilarity was over. He stumbled backward, barely able to keep weight on his knees. Somehow, he was still able to laugh. What wasn’t funny about the situation anyway? He placed a hand his forehead, throwing his head back in some desperate, mock plea as he muttered a few more words.

“Heh… heh… Yessir… Fuck.”

He was in for it now.


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