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Author Topic: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]  (Read 550 times)

Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« on: December 27, 2019, 12:46:04 AM »
847


“And.. we’re right… there!” Malcolm was up on his tiptoes, carefully adjusting a small bucket at the edge of a slightly open door at headquarters. Ah, the oldest trick in the book…!

Well, everyone needed a little pick me up, right? After the events of that past few years, losing so much human territory, a bunch of civilians and scouts dead, and the move to a new base… It was just a lot to take in. It was some building in Stohess, Malcolm cared little to remember the details, other than the fact that he just knew that good old Captain Cleanfreak was going to be up in arms (or cleaning supplies) about their new base.

Malcolm just figured he’d help out a little. And by helping out, he totally meant playing a big welcome prank. In the end, someone had to suffer for it and the lucky target? Malcolm was alright with taking risks, even if it meant he’d be the one at the receiving end of Captain’s Levi’s hellfire. Hey, short, dark, and brooding couldn’t kill him… right?

He’d filled the bucket with flour, just an extra sack he’d found lying around. And if he angled the bucket right, then the unfortunate victim would be covered in the stuff for days! Malcolm leaned back on his heels, dusting his hands of free flour with a bright smirk on his face. Oh, now this was probably his best worst idea yet.

Malcolm paused, then hearing step come down the hall. It could be only…! Well, he was coming in a little earlier than Malcolm planned for, and wait a second… those steps were a bit heavier than what the stout Captain produced? That wasn’t right. Who else would be at the offices right now anyway?! And suddenly, the silver-haired wonder put two and two together.

“Oh… fuck.” A few choice words under his breath couldn’t stop what was about to happen and the certain Commander of the Survey Corps who was about to walk through that door.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2019, 03:42:05 AM by Malcolm Watanabe »
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Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2020, 04:11:52 AM »
The move was proceeding smoothly, despite all of the goings on in the last few weeks. Levi was taking the Special Operations Squad ahead of the rest of the unit that day, and Erwin hoped that it would straighten out a couple of others he brought along as well. His plans were also proceeding as well. Everything was coming together all at once. But he still needed proof for his theory about how the walls had been breached initially, and that would take time, and a lot of work on Hange’s part. But time was irrelevant. It had to be done.

But he still had to help sweep the headquarter in prep for the move, and wanted to catch Levi for one final issue regarding the move. Knowing his luck however, Levi would have already gone.

Erwin strode down the corridor with his usual purpose returning acknowledgments until he found the last room Levi cleaned, and noticed the door ajar. He pushed it open with his left arm, but did not have a chance to address the soldier he saw standing in the back of the room. He heard the sound of wood sliding past metal and was greeted with flour in his face and on his uniform. He blinked twice, to make sure he was looking in the right direction and said simply -
“My office; one hour.”

He left without another word, back down the corridor, and trail of white dust in his wake.
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Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2020, 05:46:07 AM »
Of course, when one was as much of a risk-taker as Malcolm was, one always had to be prepared for whatever consequences that would eventually catch up to them. Malcolm always liked to think it was like a game, seeing far ahead he could stay for as long as possible. There was a certain thrill to it, and at times, no matter how stupid it really was, he told himself it was worth it.

Now, was simply one of those questionable times of whether he would stay faithful to his own beliefs.

He looked on, in relative silence, at the white-covered Commander. He couldn’t help himself. really he couldn’t. The smirk started before he realized it, but he tried to recover, he really did. His hand went flying to his mouth, smothering the snorting sounds of mixed wheezing and muted laughter. The consequences? The punishments? None of it suddenly mattered at all, none of it! Oh, he didn’t care, he didn’t care one bit because the image before him was absolutely, utterly, ridiculously, hilarious.  Oh god, only if someone else could have taken a look at this! The flour was still drifting through the air in dusty clouds, and the poor Commander was really caked in the stuff.

Malcolm was nearly bent over in hysterics when he did finally hear the awaited words of judgment.

“My office; one hour.”

And it was like a crack of electricity resounded through the room, Malcolm’s eyes widened. He gulped, feeling tension so thick it was like a dragging weight on his shoulders. He didn’t dare lift his head, knowing that those clear-blue eyes were drilling into him.

“Y-Yessir.” He sounded out the proper response, only flinching when the door slammed shut.

Right. His moment of pure unreasonable, unfiltered hilarity was over. He stumbled backward, barely able to keep weight on his knees. Somehow, he was still able to laugh. What wasn’t funny about the situation anyway? He placed a hand his forehead, throwing his head back in some desperate, mock plea as he muttered a few more words.

“Heh… heh… Yessir… Fuck.”

He was in for it now.
Logged


Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2020, 01:53:50 AM »
Erwin stood in his office, brushing the last of the flour out of his hair, with jacket having been taken outside to have the flour beaten out of it before he returned to preparations for the move.
 
He had always supported ways to relax and release tension when appropriate. It was always helpful. It kept morale up and was cure for the rampant boredom that could sometimes take over their lives. There were certain things he did not approve of however, and while that list was short, practical jokes was one of them. That said this was one of the less severe than some of the others he had seen – and been a part of – over his years in the Survey Corps.
But there was a time and place for everything.

Erwin had a hunch that the prank was meant for someone else, probably Levi. So the prankster either had a bolder death wish than some of the new recruits or like to push the envelope. Then again, it was probably a little of both.

As the end of the hour drew near, he sat at his desk, sifting through some last minute paperwork, looking up only as the prankster arrived.
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Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2020, 03:34:24 AM »
Malcolm sighed. Well, it could have been worse.

His prank could have actually ended up on his intended target. He supposed that there were better ways to see if he could elicit at least a chuckle from the stout, brooding ravenette, but that one had been just far too appealing in his mind. That was it, in his mind.

The reality was often a bit different, even if Malcolm liked to think he could get away with it otherwise. He shook himself off before knocking on the door and inevitably letting himself into the office.

“Commander Erwin, Sir.”

He stood at attention, suppressing the smirk that almost made it on his lips as he spotted a dusting of flour off of the Head Scout’s shoulder. He averted his dark eyes, shining a crimson copper in the twinkling light. He wondered what he’d make off with this time. If he could recall correctly, Shadis had once grounded from an expedition to instead be relegated to ODM maintenance, for nearly all the regiment. And of course, back in his Cadet days, there’d been more than one occasion when he’d been forced to make laps around headquarters and countless sets of pushups for his barrack antics. 

Perhaps there was something about Malcolm that enjoyed the attention. He’d hardly call himself a masochist, out loud anyway. Nonetheless, he was curious just how Commander Blondie would deal with him now.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2020, 03:34:47 AM by Malcolm Watanabe »
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Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2020, 01:25:37 AM »
He looked up to the voice and saw Malcolm standing before him. Shadis always had an issue with his sense of humor. That said, Erwin appreciated most of his jokes. They showed a sense of ingenuity that reflected his abilities in combat.

But much like Shadis left Erwin as the nobles problem, he left him the Survey Corps at a time of disgrace and all of its baggage as Erwin’s problem. Instilling discipline in many ways was easy. Except for Malcolm. But in that way they both had something in common.

They were wild cards. Both unpredictable in their own way. Shadis more or less had given up on Malcolm by the time he left. Erwin was by no means in a position to start caring now. There were big things planned, and he had little time to waste.

“I want you to clean up the flour before we leave,” was all he said. “I applaud the use of something so simple, but I don’t need Levi using you as broom to clean up a mess like that in the future.”

He leaned back in his chair, pulling back from his work. “At least, if I’m correct in assuming that he was your intended target.”
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Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2020, 05:52:20 AM »
"Yessir. I'll take care of it. I'll even clean it to the good Cap'n's standards, sir"

Initially Malcolm gave no hints of a reaction to his commander's words. He supposed there wasn't much of a point and in the end, he really seemed like he was getting off lightly. Just clean up his mess huh? Well, anyone could have guessed that at least would have been part of his due duty. But then Erwin tacked on a few more comments, ones that brought a smile to Malcolm's face. The smirk didn't leave so easily.

"If I may speak so freely, Commander, a good soldier doesn't share his secrets." What could have Erwin guessed anyway? Was the Commander Blondie just putting two and two together? But Malcolm's teasing smirk only admitted that the silver haired wonder was far from a good soldier. Yes, Malcolm would freely state he preferred to play naughty rather than play nice. He winked, his dark eyes sparkling crimson.

Was Malcolm trying his luck? He could only say that Erwin wasn't responding in a way he would have anticipated. Interesting. Was it out of character for their stern Commander to go lightly on a little joke? In all honesty, Malcolm simply had his own misgivings about people who were higher up the chain than he was. They dealt in things like strategy, planning, responsibility and nobility. All things that Malcolm would have scoffed at himself. In his years as a Scout he'd boiled down his position to two things, not dying and killing Titans. And even then, the former was more of an optimistic hope than a job description. In regards to his prank, maybe he had been hoping for a certain stout captain. But, getting a bigger fish, one could never complain.

Malcolm had his own reputation in the Scouts, deviancy and ill-regard for personal safety were just a few of rumours that followed him. But what was more was the man in front of him. Tall, blonde, and brooding, with a blue-eyed stare that held little subtlety. Malcolm didn't mind that stare, not at all.

"If I may further explain myself, sir, I assure you, I only ever have the best intentions in mind for myself and my fellow soldiers." Malcolm said with his head squared on his shoulders. That wasn't a lie, but perhaps it wasn't a truth either. He'd led the Commander decide what to think of it, himself.
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Re: Oldest Trick in the Book [Erwin/Malcolm]
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2020, 03:49:41 AM »
Erwin barely looked up from the work he had in front of him.

“Malcolm,” he began, “You and I have both been in the Survey Corps a long time.” He finally leaned back in his chair to look him dead in the eyes. HE was told he had a sort of search glare at times like these, at least according to others.

“To that end, what I know is that you are more than a little full of yourself,” Erwin crossed his arms before continuing. “But we both know that what you just said about having the best interests for everyone is by no means entirely true, and you also.”

He stared at Malcolm for a moment, almost trying to gauge him as a man. But why bother. Truth be told, Erwin had more pressing things to worry about than how much of pain Malcolm could be. Erwin had no doubts that Levi the target of his prank. And in that regard Erwin had some respect for him for being crazy enough to gamble on that.

“You have to understand that I cannot have you laid up in the infirmary for an extended duration and certainly have Levi getting arrested for assaulting or killing you,” he said. “I simply do not have that much reach and I need everyone ready and able now, more than ever.”
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